Journaling to Process Difficult Situations & Emotions
WHY THIS EXERCISE
Journaling has powerful benefits when it comes to reflecting on difficult situations: a break-up, a fight with a friend, a dream job that didn't come to pass,...
Whilst reflecting on negative emotions is valuable, it's also important to find time to bring comfort to yourself: seeking the lessons you learned, taking ownership for your actions, and being kind to yourself.
This exercise will help you to view a difficult past experience in a different light.
EXERCISE FLOW
There are three main steps to this exercise, which I will detail in further detail:
Write about difficult situation: Identify a difficult past situation and explore the emotions it caused you, and how it impacts your life to this day
Letter to yourself: Write a letter to yourself with the same kindness as to a loved one, answering the first text and providing comfort and acknowledgement, but also bringing a fresh perspective
Reflection & take-aways: Re-read both previous parts, and outline what you take away from this exercise
As per always, you don’t need to follow all the prompts below: use what feels right, and set aside what doesn’t.
DETAILED PROMPTS
1. Write about difficult situation:
Pick a past situation that still stays with you to this day. Choose the intensity of difficulty that you feel comfortable to start with. You can always re-do this exercise to tackle other situations.
Let yourself write freely about the situation, whatever comes to mind, without any self-censorship
Make sure to write about the emotions & feelings that were brought on by the situation, and how the situation has impacted you to this day
2. Write a letter to yourself, answering your first text:
Write as you would to a loved one, a best friend, family member: comforting, kind, unconditional love & support, as well as honesty and willingness to call out harmful behaviour
Acknowledge the emotions, the experierience, and the validity of it
Bring comfort: “I’m here for you. I love you. All will be ok. You’re safe.” and anything else that feels comforting to you. It can also be kind nicknames like “my darling”
Reframe the experience:
Draw out the gifts of the experience: What did you learn ? What character traits did you develop ? Are there people you met, or places you went to, experiences you had, that you wouldn’t have had otherwise ?
Bring a new perspective: Were you maybe very harsh on yourself in the initial text ? Did you maybe do your best with the information and skills you had available at the time ? Or maybe are you not taking enough accountability for your part in the situation ?
List 3 things that you are grateful for about yourself
3. Reflection and key takeaways:
Re-read both sections
Note down key takeaways from the exercise:
Do you want to change the story that you tell yourself about this situation ? If it was a book, what would the old title and new title be ?
How can you balance better the positive and negative perspectives ?
Is there any action that you need to take out of this exercise ? Talk to yourself differently, discuss with a friend, apologise to someone, etc
And that’s it! I hope that this was helpful - please don’t hesitate to write in to share any feedback! Good luck.
FURTHER INSPIRATION
The writer Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) has a fantastic newsletter, where she sends every week a letter that she has written to herself, out of a place of love. It’s a different theme and prompts each week, and very beautiful written. You can subscribe here.
