WHY THIS EXERCISE

We hear often to avoid dwelling on regrets, lest it prevent us from living a fulfilling life. But what if regrets had an important message for us ?

This journaling prompt exercise will help you reflect on the meaning, the values behind a regret that you hold, to turn it into action.

EXERCISE FLOW

There are three main steps to this exercise, which I will detail in further detail:

  1. Identify and explore a regret: Identify a regret and take the time to examine and detail it.

  2. Find the meaning, the dream behind: Reflect on the values, the dream behind the regret.

  3. Honour the dream: Brainstorm and build a plan to honour the dream, the values you’ve identified.

As per always, you don’t need to follow all the prompts below: use what feels right, and set aside what doesn’t.

DETAILED PROMPTS

1. Identify and exploring a regret:

  • Questions to help identify: A decision you made or didn't make? Events that took you in a different direction vs your plan? Opportunities that wasn't seized?

    • Example: I didn't take a gap year at 18 years old.

  • Select one regret that feels the most impactful, and take the time to explore it:

    • What happened to lead to this regret and why? Ex: I was too scared to take the leap, and my parents dissuaded me from doing it, saying I was too young.

    • What would that past experience look like if you had been able to do it differently: what would you have done, how would you have felt? I would have spent the year working at a farm in Iceland, exploring the island, seeing the Northern Stars, learning how to be an independent adult and getting to know myself better.

    • What would your life look now if this regret hadn't materialised, what kind of person would you be? If I had taken a gap year, I think I would have been clearer on what direction I wanted to take my life in, maybe I would have studied something different, and been less afraid to take risks.

 

2. What is the meaning behind this regret?

  • Regrets represent dreams and values that didn't get the change to be expressed - it's time to zoom out and understand what dream and values your regret represents.

  • What is the meaning behind this regret?

  • Why is it important, what does it mean to you ?

  • What values does it represent that are important to you?

  • Are you able to honour these values in your day to day life?

  • Example: The regret of not taking a gap year is important to me because it represents me being brave, and doing what I want even if others disagree. Independence and bravery are important values to me, that I think I could embody more in my day to day life, like with my current career choices.

3. Work on honouring the dream in your present and future

    • How can you incorporate, address this value in your current life and future plans?

    • List your possible ideas, and pick the ones that feel the most appealing to describe in as much detail as possible: I want to seriously take time to assess my career choices, and make move to change roles.

    • Build a plan to start making this dream come to life, with actions, timelines, resources needed

    • Note down one first action to complete once you've finished journaling

 

And that’s it! I hope that this was helpful - please don’t hesitate to write in to share any feedback! Good luck.