WHY THIS EXERCISE
We hear often to avoid dwelling on regrets, lest it prevent us from living a fulfilling life. But what if regrets had an important message for us ?
This journaling prompt exercise will help you reflect on the meaning, the values behind a regret that you hold, to turn it into action.
EXERCISE FLOW
There are three main steps to this exercise, which I will detail in further detail:
Identify and explore a regret: Identify a regret and take the time to examine and detail it.
Find the meaning, the dream behind: Reflect on the values, the dream behind the regret.
Honour the dream: Brainstorm and build a plan to honour the dream, the values you’ve identified.
As per always, you don’t need to follow all the prompts below: use what feels right, and set aside what doesn’t.
DETAILED PROMPTS
1. Identify and exploring a regret:
Questions to help identify: A decision you made or didn't make? Events that took you in a different direction vs your plan? Opportunities that wasn't seized?
Example: I didn't take a gap year at 18 years old.
Select one regret that feels the most impactful, and take the time to explore it:
What happened to lead to this regret and why? Ex: I was too scared to take the leap, and my parents dissuaded me from doing it, saying I was too young.
What would that past experience look like if you had been able to do it differently: what would you have done, how would you have felt? I would have spent the year working at a farm in Iceland, exploring the island, seeing the Northern Stars, learning how to be an independent adult and getting to know myself better.
What would your life look now if this regret hadn't materialised, what kind of person would you be? If I had taken a gap year, I think I would have been clearer on what direction I wanted to take my life in, maybe I would have studied something different, and been less afraid to take risks.
2. What is the meaning behind this regret?
Regrets represent dreams and values that didn't get the change to be expressed - it's time to zoom out and understand what dream and values your regret represents.
What is the meaning behind this regret?
Why is it important, what does it mean to you ?
What values does it represent that are important to you?
Are you able to honour these values in your day to day life?
Example: The regret of not taking a gap year is important to me because it represents me being brave, and doing what I want even if others disagree. Independence and bravery are important values to me, that I think I could embody more in my day to day life, like with my current career choices.
3. Work on honouring the dream in your present and future
How can you incorporate, address this value in your current life and future plans?
List your possible ideas, and pick the ones that feel the most appealing to describe in as much detail as possible: I want to seriously take time to assess my career choices, and make move to change roles.
Build a plan to start making this dream come to life, with actions, timelines, resources needed
Note down one first action to complete once you've finished journaling
And that’s it! I hope that this was helpful - please don’t hesitate to write in to share any feedback! Good luck.