WHY THIS EXERCISE

Ever notice how after buying a new car, you suddenly see that model everywhere? It's not that more cars appeared—your brain is just tuned to notice them.

This is a bit like how our beliefs shape what we notice in the world. Though we think we form beliefs based on what we observe, research shows that beliefs are set early in our life and rarely shift over time/based on circumstances (Clinton, 2020). These beliefs create a "confirmation bias," where we spot things that match our view, like seeing more dangers if we believe the world is unsafe (Clinton, 2019). Beauty, or any other belief, is in the eye of the beholder.

Some believe that their negative views, whether on themselves or the world, helps them to take action. However, the anxiety and negativity generated by negative beliefs often slows down meaningful action. Women with more anxious tendency took months longer to consult a Doctor after spotting a lump, compared to women with less anxiety (Boyes, 2015).

Recognizing and reshaping our beliefs can help us align with the person we want to become. This exercise will guide you on that journey.

EXERCISE FLOW

There are three main steps to this exercise, which I will detail in further detail:

  1. Reflect on your beliefs: List out in a free flow your beliefs, starting with the universe, then going to humanity & society, and then to yourself and your life.

  2. Choose which beliefs you wish to shift: Review the list and identify which beliefs aren’t in line with the person you want to become. Then select, the belief you wish to change the most.

  3. Create a plan to rewire the #1 belief to change: Use techniques from cognitive behavioural therapy to gradual rewire your brain.

As per always, you don’t need to follow all the prompts below: use what feels right, and set aside what doesn’t.

DETAILED PROMPTS

1. Reflect on your beliefs:

  • List out your beliefs, without much reflection

  • Some questions to help guide you:

    • What do you believe about the universe ?

    • About the world and Earth?

    • About humanity, nature and animals ?

    • About your country, your city ?

    • About your relationships/community (family, friends, workplace, etc)?

    • What do you believe about yourself:

      • Your personality

      • Your skills

      • Your past, future and present

      • Your strengths and weaknesses

      • Your work/career

      • Your duties

      • Your values

2. Choose which beliefs you wish to shift:

  • Review the list and identify which beliefs aren’t in line with the person you want to become

  • Remember that your beliefs inform how you view yourself and the world, and thus have a huge impact on your future and who you will become

3. Create a plan to rewire the #1 belief to change:

  • Reflection is great, but only transformative when combined with action

  • Pick the one negative belief that most impacts your life/that you most want to shift out of

  • Write out what your goal belief is that you wish to replace your current belief wish -

  • Create a plan to move to your new belief. Please find some suggestions to help below:

    • How can you act already now as if you had this new belief ? Faking it until you make it.

    • How can you create a new habit of forcing yourself to notice things that confirm your new belief ?

      • For example, if you believe that your city is beautiful rather than ugly, you could integrate a hunt for beauty into your existing routine, such as your morning commute to work.

    • Challenge thoughts that confirm your previous belief:

      • One technique is to give a funny name to these thoughts, imagining that they are a character: for example, calling the negative thoughts “Hector”. When those thoughts come up, you can gently let Hector know that you understand it’s trying to help, but you don’t want to believe this anymore, and to quieten down. Be kind to yourself, like you would speak to a naughty dog or a cheeky toddler.

    • Place reminders around the house or on your calendar with this action plan - building a new belief is like building a muscle - it needs practice, and you should keep trying, even if sometimes you fail.

And that’s it! I hope that this was helpful - please don’t hesitate to write in to share any feedback! Good luck.

“WINE” PAIRING FOR THIS EXERCISE

There is a fantastic podcast called “Hidden Brain”, with an episode dedicated to understanding how our beliefs shape the way we see the world. This will enable you to deepdive into the science behind the exercise. Listen here.